Hunters, Angels, and Other Randomness
by Lostlover2012
Summary: What happens when you kidnap and hold captive one runaway Archangel, the Devil himself, 2 hunting bros, and an angel of the lord? This story, of course! Have you ever had a question you wanted to ask a character in Supernatural? No? How about wanted to give them something or made them do some stupid act? Yes? Good! Come and stop by then and leave a question or two. Crack!Fic
1. Welcome to my crazy world

**Hello. Forgive me, I couldn't help myself. I've had this idea in my head for awhile... So, I hope you like it. :D. **

**Enjoy!**

**(Beware: This story holds 4* Oc's, myself, Kayla, the Camera person, and a surprise guest.)**

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*Camera turns on to revel the author of this story sitting in a chair that just seemed to appear there, she is holding what looks to be some sort of torture device with a bloody blade. She is sharpening the blade and doesn't seem to notice the camera until she looks up, she throws the knife behind her, causing whatever is behind her to scream in agony. She snaps her fingers and the screams stop. She smiles innocently at the camera and begins to tell the story.*

It started off as a basically normal night, all the humans spending some time with their angels.

Castiel and Dean were cuddling in their motel room bed, Dean had talked Cas into trying some pie after dinner and Cas had basically devoured the whole thing within minutes, now they are both sleeping it off.

Sam and Gabriel are having some *Ahem* 'Private' time one room over. Nuff said.

Lucifer and Kayla both just finished watching 'Titanic', Lucifer had many questions about the movie. They too are also currently having some 'Private' time.

What is with Archangels and their stamina?

Seriously, I have been 'watching' them all for days and they have been going at it like rabbits.

Any who, it had STARTED off as a normal night.

Until I came in and ruined it all for them… Well I haven't yet, but I am about to.

I'll be back in a minute.

*The camera shuts off. The camera turns back on seconds later to revel a huge cage. All the humans and their angels are tied onto chairs and appear to be knocked out somehow. The author is sitting on what looks to be a swivel chair. She is spinning on it until she notices the camera on. She stops spinning and faces the camera.*

Oh, hello. Welcome to my new show thing. I have been bored, so I decided to kidnap a runaway-candy-addicted-archangel, the Devil himself, 2 hunters, a whiney bitch, and an angel of the lord. Now all we have to do is wait for them to wake up.

*Hours go by. They still don't wake up. The author has now started to spin on her chair again. The camera person coughs every once and awhile.*

Okay… I'm getting bored… *Stops spinning*

Camera Person: I have an idea. *Pushes button on the camera.*

*A electric current starts to pulsate through the humans and angels. They wake up seconds later and they all begin to talk amongst themselves. Sam and Dean Look like they are trying to break free of the restraints but are unable, the angels are trying to angel mojo themselves out and Kayla is having a mental breakdown. (Side note: They are in this order: Sam, Gabriel, Dean, Castiel, Kayla, and Lucifer.)

Kayla: We're gonna die… *Mumbling and is clearly shaking*

Lucifer: I can't get us out of here… Kayla calm down.

Sam, Dean, Gabriel, and Castiel: Lucifer?

Lucifer: Gabriel? I stabbed you!

Kayla: We're gonna die!

Camera Person and Author: SHUT UP!

*The room instantly goes silent. Aside from Kayla who is still muttering various forms of 'We are going to die'.*

Lucifer: *Everyone aside from Kayla look toward the author who is still in the chair, she is put to the right of Lucifer.* who are you?

*All at the same time*

Sam and Dean: Where are we?

Gabriel: Yeah, and why can't I just mojo myself out of here?

Castiel: What are you?

Okay, let me answer these one at a time. Okay, first, Gabriel, you can't get out of here because I want you to stay. Sam and Dean, you are in my mind, so to speak. And last but not least, that's for me to know and for you to never find out.

*Everyone goes quiet. Aside from Kayla who really won't shut the hell up.*

Camera Person: Hey Luci, I have a-

Lucifer: Call me Luci one more time and I will rip your throat out with my bare hands.

Castiel: Who is behind the Camera anyway?

*Person steps out, it is Cassie. My Oc that I usually put with Gabriel, but she is the vampire-version from my Twilight story, Cassie Cullen.*

Castiel: Are you Cassie?

Cassie: How did you know that? *looks toward the author* How did he know that?

I have no idea… Castiel, how _did_ you know that?

*Everyone, aside from Kayla of course who still won't shut the hell up, looks toward Castiel expectantly*

Castiel: Gabriel forced me to read the Twilight Saga as punishment.

*Gabriel smirks as he remembers*

Dean: Oh you sick bastard…

*Kayla starts flipping out for no reason at all and her chair falls backward. She begins to cry louder*

Lucifer: Kayla! *Growls at the author and eyes grow a bit dark* What did you do to her!

I didn't do anything.

Random voice fills the room from speakers that just seem to appear on the walls: It was me.

*Everyone, aside from Kayla who is still crying loudly on the floor goes silent again*

Cassie: Oh God, please tell me that's not who I think it was…

Gabriel: *Mutters* Don't bring dad into this….

I think it was who you think it was, Cassie…

*Door bursts open and Bree-ann, also from my Cassie Cullen story comes in.*

Cassie: Oh C'mon! Is there any story I can hide in that she isn't here!

Bree-ann: Hello Casandra.

*Mumbling* Hi Bree….

*Bree-ann runs over to Gabriel and traps him in a huge hug*

Gabriel: Help Sammy! She's attacking me!

Bree-ann: *Smiles* Oh I'm just getting started.

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**Like?**

**Hate?**

**Want to salt and burn it? **

**Want to smite the crap out of me?**

**No? Good. I don't like being smite'd... or salted and burned... Not fun.**

**Have any questions you've ever wanted to ask them? **

**Yes? **

**Good! Leave them in the reviews and they will show up in the next chapter :D. **

**Bye my friends, I must be off now. I owe my fans of forbidden fruit another chapter... Which will hopefully be out tomorrow/the day after that.**

**Goodbye. Again.**


	2. Speical guest you say?

**Hi people- as mentioned in my update in 'Forbidden Fruit' I'm going on Vacation.**

**I will be back on the 7th though... or the 8th? I don't know... One of those days.**

**Speical guest: Michelle Maria Salvatore/Gabe's-Girl-Forever is appearing this chapter and next.**

**Enjoy.**

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Gabriel: *Whispers to Sam* I'm scared….

Bree-ann: Oh there is no need to be scared of me, Gabey. *Caresses face like a couple would do if they were in private*

Sam: Leave _my _Gabriel alone! *Eye's turn a little dark*

Cassie: Can we have this little love fest later, Bree? We have some questions from Michelle.

Bree-ann: Michelle... I don't think I know her? I*Lets go of Gabriel and turns to Cassie*

Gabriel: *Mutters* Thank dad…

Guys. Should I teleport her here or something? She had 3 questions.

*Everyone is just quiet- Kayla has duct tape over her mouth now because she doesn't know how to keep her God Damn mouth shut. She is also facing the corner.*

Cassie: Why not? We need some more girls here. *Everyone turns to Cassie.* What? I love you guys, you just get annoying.

Castiel: Even me? *Looks down in sadness*

Aww! CASSIE! You hurt his feelings! Say sorry to Cas!

Bree-ann: *Mumbling* Poor Cas.

Cassie: Fine. I'm sorry, Castiel. You are probably the only one that's not annoying as hell.

Lucifer: What about hell?

*Everyone turns to Lucifer and the room goes into a awkward silence*

Anyway… I'm gonna teleport Michelle here so she can ask her questions. *Snaps fingers and Michelle is now standing in the middle of the room- she sees where she is and calmly moves to a chair that magically appeared beside me.*

Gabriel: Hey! You stole the snap thing from me!

Did not.

Gabriel: Did to!

Do you want to end up like Kayla? If not then I would shut up. *Gestures to Kayla who is whimpering and looks very sad in the corner*

Gabriel: Fine… *Glares at the author*

Michelle Maria Salvatore/Gabe's-Girl-Forever: Hello.

Hi… You have a long name… How about we just call you Michelle?

Michelle: That's fine with me.

So, Michelle, I see you have some questions?

Michelle: Yep.

Dean: Who are the questions for?

Sam: Do we get any?

Michelle: Sam gets one along with Gabriel. Then I have another for Lucifer and Castiel.

*Gabriel makes a small 'Yess!' sound which nobody really pays attention to*

Dean: Why don't I get one?

Michelle: I don't deem you important enough.

Cassie: Harsh…

Castiel: What's my question?

Michelle: I was gonna ask if you wanted a Wing Massage. *Looks toward Dean who is red with fury and is clearly VERY pissed off that she would ask that question… It seems the author has duct taped his mouth shut so he can't say anything about it* don't worry Dean, I won't make him _to _horny….. Mayyybee…

Castiel: *Is blushing furiously and doesn't notice Dean's reaction.* I'll have to reject your offer.

Gabriel: Can I take you up on that offer?

Sam: Gabriel!

Michelle: Speaking of that- I had a question for you guys. Do you think you two are willing to try a threesome with Moi?

Gabriel: Why not?

Sam: HELL NO!

Lucifer: Why do you guys keep mentioning Hell?

*Everyone turns to look at Lucifer and it lapses into a complete silence for a few minutes*

Michelle: So why not?

Gabriel: I'm willing.

Sam: No. No. No.

Bree-ann: Getting protective of your angel now are we, Sam?

Sam: No- its just-… *Looks up and sees her puppy dog eyes* Fine…

Michelle: YES! Err I mean… *Calms down and tries not to look too excited* I had another one for Lucifer.

Lucifer: Shoot.

Michelle: Oka-

Castiel: Shoot you with what? *Adorable head tilt*

Aww…

Dean: She doesn't mean it literally, Cas.

Michelle: *AHEM* _Anyway_. So I'm just gonna say- Lucifer, I have the Saw box set and I have nobody to watch it with. I won't throw up either. Want to watch it with me? Number seven is even in 3D so it looks like it's coming out at you.

Kayla: *Muffled scream from the corner*

Lucifer: I don't see why not.

… Why don't we set up a big move projector and show them here? I'm sure Kayla would just _love _to watch them. Isn't that right Kayla?

Kayla: *Another muffled scream*

It's settled then! Next episode thing we will watch them. Everyone say goodbye now- I'm going on vacation.

Sam: What?

Dean: You aren't just gonna leave us here are you?

Lucifer and Gabriel: Bye.

Kayla: *Muffled scream*

Castiel: Goodbye.

Cassie and Bree-ann: Can we go?

Bree-ann, feel free to tag along but no Cassie you can't go.

Michelle: What about me?

Michelle, for now you can go back home until next episode…. Also take Sam and Gabriel with you. You know... for the threesome.

Michelle: Mkay. *Author snaps and Michelle is gone, the chair she was sitting in has magically disappeared along with Gabriel and Sam.*

Cassie: Why can't I go!

Bree-ann: Because you are annoying.

Cassie: Nuh-Uh! You're annoying! *Tackles*

Dean: Cat fight!

Castiel: *Another head tilt*

GUYS GUYS! *Stands up and forcefully pulls them apart* No fighting in here… I'mma leaves before they start fighting again. *Touches Bree-ann and she disappears*

Goodbye!

*Teleports away in a cloud of smoke*

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**Like?**

**Dislike?**

**Love?**

**Hate?**

**Well... I _hope_ you enjoyed it. Forgive me if it I have a few mistakes, I am about to leave and was kind of in a hurry with this.**

**So bye, I have to go in a little bit. **

**Bye... Again...**


	3. Saw and Bad Images

**Hello! I would like to thank my fellow reviewers who reviewed last 2 chapters... Thank you guys for supporting my crazy mind :D! **

**Anyway, enjoy! :D!**

* * *

Hey guys I'm back!

*Me and Bree-ann walk in and they somehow got out of their seats- Cassie doesn't seem to be here, Kayla and Lucifer are cuddling, Dean and Sam are trying to find a way out, Castiel is munching on some burgers that I have no Idea how he got in here, and Gabriel looks really deprived of something?*

How did you *Points to Gabriel* and Sam get back here? I thought you would be over at Michelle's for the threesome?

Gabriel: We would be. But Sam 'finished' early. *Glares*

AH… BAD IMAGES… *Collapses on the ground and clutches head in hands*

Sam: It wasn't my fault Gabriel! You where the one who-

Bree-ann: SHUT UP! You are breaking the author!

*Everyone aside from Kayla who seems to be sleeping in Luci's arms looks at Bree-ann, Lucifer doesn't seem to be happy as Kayla is awoken by Bree-ann's loud mouth. She clutches onto Luci Lou tighter as if scared.*

*Cassie busts through the door, she seems very pissed off as she walks straight to the author and starts to scream in her face.*

Cassie: YOU BITCH! YOU ENDED MY STORY! IT WASN'T EVEN FINISHED!

Cassie, calm down. I ended it because I had to.

Cassie: Bullsh-

Lucifer: Can we get back on topic here?

Cassie: *Mumbling* He interrupted me….

Which is?

Lucifer: We were supposed to watch Saw today.

Kayla: But I don't want to…

Bree-ann: *Cough* No one cares *Cough* *Lucifer glares at Bree-ann*

Lucifer: Don't worry, I'll protect you.

Gabriel: *Rolls eyes* She does know it's a movie… Right?

Lucifer: *Glares at Gabriel*

ANYWAY. We are going to watch Saw number one, today. We don't have enough time to watch them all. But first, we have to answer reviewers.

Cassie: Did I get any?

No.

Cassie: *Insert Okay Meme (If you don't know what it is, Google it.)* Okay… *Goes to sulk in a corner*

*All the while Dean and Sam just seem to be talking in the corner, making plans or something. Nobody seems to be paying attention to them.*

So the first review is from Michelle Maria Salvatore who says-

Castiel: Why don't you just teleport her here?

My teleport budget is running out…

Castiel: I understand. *Still gives a confused look that tells us he doesn't understand what the hell I mean.*

Okay, anyway… Michelle Maria Salvatore/Gabe's-Girl-Forever-

Gabriel: Damn straight.

Can I talk or are you gonna just keep interrupting me.

Gabriel: I didn't interrupt you the first time.

***AHEM* **Anyway, she said: Mwwhhahahahhahah I get Sam and Gabriel to myself: D *coughs awkwardly* Annnyyyyway...questions! ;)

Dean-Since you were all whiny last chapter cuz you didn't get a question I've decided to be nice and give you one *looks to Castiel* have you and Cas ever thought of having kids? Cuz I would be really willing to be a surrogate for you *smiles*

Dean: *Seems to have heard the question and walks over to Castiel. They give each other a look. Seem to be having some sort of mental conversation and finally they look toward the author* We have decided even though she called me whiny that we will agree… We actually have been talking lately about having a kid and have recently just decided in the last month. Before we got locked up here. *Glares for a moment at the author* so how should we do this?

Well, wait. We will have to put this off to another date; we have the Saw movies to watch. Oh, and Sam and Gabe got the same question but with this little extra comment: '*smirks* I can even try and make the kid turn out to be a sweet tooth like one of his daddy's *winks at Gabriel*'

Gabriel: She actually was pretty good in bed…. I don't see why not…

Sam: No. I will not bring a child into this world that is full of monsters and demons.

Gabriel: *Mutters* and angels… *Louder* But why not Sammy… Don't be such a moopy moose… C'mon…..

Sam: No.

Gabriel: Fine… Sorry Michelle… He said no… *Fake glares at Sammy for emphasis*

The next question is for Luci Lou-

Lucifer: Call me that again and I will make you regret the day you were created.

Fine… Anyway, it says: Lucifer- Was wondering if you want a wing massage *giggles* my hands really need a workout and you look like you need a break

Lucifer: *Eyebrows raise and his face shows that he is considering it*

Kayla: Lucifer… you aren't honestly suggesting this are you?

Lucifer: *Holds up finger as if to say 'give me a moment.'*

Kayla: *Scoffs* you better be kidding…

Lucifer: *Rolls eyes* Fine… I'm sorry Michelle… No wing massage… *Kayla smiles and snuggles back into Lucifer. Lucifer writes down something and gives it to the author to be given to Michelle. The message says 'No wing massage. _Today._ Call me and we can set up a date.' Below is his number*

Hey! I got a question… or more like a gift! Candy apples from Michelle! Yeah! Take that bitches! *Holds up a bag filled with candy apples*

*Everyone looks toward Author with a confused and worried looks on their faces and even a few sympathetic looks on their faces as if they feel a bit sorry for the author who has clearly gone mad. Gabriel has a hungry look on his face, his eyes not once leaving the bag as the author waves it around in a happy manner before opening it and eating one rather quickly*

Gabriel: Didn't she say I could get some?

She said I could give you some… But doesn't mean I will.

Gabriel: Please…

No.

Gabriel: Pleaseeeeeee…..

No.

Gabriel: …

No.

Gabriel: Give her the puppy dog eyes Sammy! I _need_ those apples. *Grabs Sam by the hair and pushes him toward the author.* How can you resist those sad eyes? *Sam gives his best Puppy dog eyes*

Sam: May I please have those apples?

Aww…. *Seems to be in a trance* Sure you can have some Sammy…. *Gives the entire bag*

Sam: Thanks. *Gives to Gabriel*

Gabriel: *Lets go of Sam's hair and prances around the room* I win, I win, I always win. *Singsong'ing the words like a psychopath*

*Author shakes out of the trance* Dammit! I've been conned! Sammy how could you?

Sam: I take care of my angel. *Smiles and sits back down, Gabriel goes over to Sam and gives him a big kiss before sitting in his lap.*

Gabriel: Damn straight. *Winks at Sam*

Lucifer: I'm gonna be sick…

Dean: _You're _gonna be sick?

Anyway… Saw time! *Snaps fingers Michelle Maria Salvatore/Gabe's-Girl-Forever (Michelle for short) is here now with a projector, she already has had set up the entire time… Surprised nobody noticed that. Oh well!*

Michelle: Saw time! *Gets comfortable in a huge chair that seems to have just appeared there along with a bunch of other couches, loveseats and single chairs.*

*Kayla and Lucifer snuggle into one of the couches, she is lying with her head down in his lap, her feet stretched along the rest of the couch. Cassie and Bree-ann move to separate chairs, but beside each other which is weird because they don't like each other. Sam and Gabriel sit in a single chair, Sam has his legs spread and Gabriel is sitting in the middle of them, he is short enough so that Sam can see over him. Dean and Cas move to a loveseat, Dean has Cas cuddled up against him that makes them look so adorable together. The author moves to a single chair and she sinks into the fluffiness of the chair.*

ACTION! *Claps hands and the lights are now dimmed, the projector starts and the beginning credits start.*

Kayla: *Whimpers and snuggles into Lucifer*

…

*Some memorable times during the movie*

*First scene*

OH MY GOSH! That doctor guy looks like Mark Pellegrino! *Everyone looks toward me with confused look aside from Cassie, Bree-ann, and Michelle who all know what I'm talking about.* I mean… Lucifer…

Lucifer: He doesn't look anything like me.

Does to!

Lucifer: How does that Lawrence guy look anything like me? No he doesn't.

Fine, whatever you say… Gordon….

*About 16 minutes in, it is the second scene, a flashback of Gordon's.*

MILES! *Sees the actor that plays Miles from the TV show Lost*

Castiel: Miles? *Queue head tilt*

Michelle: It's from a TV show, Cas.

Castiel: Oh…

*They show what 'Miles' is looking at which is a guy that has barbed wire cutting through his intestines and he has been dead for awhile*

Lucifer: Now that isn't a very effective way to kill someone….

Everyone besides Lucifer: O.O…

*The rest of the movie goes without interruptions… Aside from the author's little scream when Michael Emerson, also from Lost shows up as a helper for 'Jigsaw'*

BEN!

Gabriel: Would you shut up?

Fine…

*By the end of the movie Kayla is hiding her face in Lucifer's shoulder as she shakes with fear.*

Lucifer: Calm down Kayla… It was just a movie….

Kayla: *Shaking*

Michelle: *Now has popcorn, nobody really knows when she received it but it was sometime during the movie.* that was awesome! Next movie!

No. We can do it tomorrow, okay?

Michelle: Fine…. So can you zap me home? I'm kinda hungry for something other than popcorn. *Winks at Lucifer*

Err…. *Snaps fingers and Kayla is now alone on the couch, Michelle and Lucifer are missing.*

Kayla: Where's Lucifer?

I don't know what you're talking about… *Is clearly lying* ERM… So…. I'm gonna end this before I have to explain to Kayla were I sent him…

Kayla: Wait what do you me-

BYE!

* * *

**I have an announcement to make… I… *Ahem* have now…. ARCHIVED 100K WORDS! F-CK YEAH! *Parties* Erm... I mean… *Straightens composer and looks toward the camera* I would like to thank all the fandoms who I have written for- just because they are awesome. I mean, who can't love Supernatural, Twilight, Lost, and Vampire Diaries? They are all amazing shows/movies/books. I would also like to take this opportunity to thank all of you who have supported me and reviewed, even those who haven't reviewed and read the story are still awesome in their own way :3. So thank you guys, and special thanks to Michelle Maria Salvatore/Gabe's-Girl-Forever for being a awesome friend and helping me write some of my stories. So thank you all for that. **

**Anywho… Enough sappyness…**

**I ARCHIVED 100K WORDS! YEAH! This calls for a celebration. Everyone who has ever read or reviewed one of my stories now has my undying love. Yeah, I have that much love to give. **

**I'mma leave now and go write some more… that's my celebration for writing… More writing! Yay! Bye x3. **

**(Note: Archived doesn't mean published, most of this stuff is yet to be on this site so be prepared for some new fanfictions here and there ;D!) **


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